Where work and play blend together

Well, I have pretty much been a blog-writing bum this past two months. Here's a weak series of excuses for my absence. 

Volunteering

NCO

I’ve continued my volunteer work with The Gardens Project and North Coast Opportunities. For months I helped plan the first annual Farmers Convergence, which was an incredible success. It was last Friday (March 1), which ended up being a gorgeous 75 degree day (really can't complain about the NorCal winters), and it was a hit. Lots of people came, met, connected, shared ideas, and went home feeling inspired. We're already talking about doing it again next year.

I'm a mentor!

I also joined an exciting mentorship program which exists in just a few schools in California. Students apply in seventh grade. To qualify they must be high academic achievers from low-income families. If accepted they are assigned a mentor (who ideally sticks with them for all six years until they graduate) and a generous sum of money distributed throughout those 6 years with which to have experiences and buy items that will ready them for college.

What’s the point? Many low-income students who go to college and even receive scholarships often end up dropping out anyway because they feel ostracized, having never been out of their hometown or not knowing how to use chopsticks, for instance. Together, the student and mentor decide how best to spend that money to get them ready for college and beyond. It starts with local things like eating out at restaurants and going to see movies and plays. As the years progress it gets upped: a weekend in San Francisco, a weeklong summer camp, visits to college campuses, even international trips. Mentors also help students prep and apply for college (think SAT classes and entrance essay edits).

I have two girls, one in seventh and one in eighth grade whose mentor couldn’t continue, and I couldn’t be more excited about being part of their lives and helping them achieve their goals. It really is a blessing.

Oh right, work

March 3 was my one-year anniversary of being funemployed. I'm going to keep calling self-employment that since it's essentially like being unemployed; I spend most of my days in sweatpants in my cozy house, drinking tea, baking gluten free muffins, and taking long walks through my neighborhood. (Did I mention how nice the winter weather is here?) 

This probably doesn't convince you that I've been too busy to blog, but I swear I have real work. My baking schedule has been interrupted by a string of new clients - February was a month of new work and March and April will be just as busy. I'm approximating a 30 hour work week and feeling quite professional (despite the sweatpants). 

Vacation

As part of my new lifestyle I seem to get to spend more time playing than working (if you want to hate me because I'm a lady of leisure, just remember I'm poor). Despite my financial restrictions, I'm still doing ridiculously cool things. Carson and I had the extraordinary opportunity to go to Colorado for 9 days in February, almost entirely paid for in exchange for our work as “hosts” for a ski trip operated by one of my clients. 

More on Colorado in its own dedicated blog. I'm also going to do a photo-only blog soon (with, let's face it, probably some long captions). Because I know how much people love to read long rambling written works with no real direction or purpose...

Is anyone else really looking forward to daylight savings kicking in on Sunday? (I'm not looking at you, Indiana - I know how much you hate it.)

Whirlyball birthday

On Saturday, January 5, I turned 31. It's a far cry from turning 30 which caused me to turn my world upside down - quit my job, move to California, fall in love, all that good stuff. Comparatively, 31 feels like a quiet year.

Tessa spent the night and we watched TV, cooked some food, and gave the dog a bath. We were up at midnight when it officially became my 31st.

Sailor gets a bath to be party-ready.

The next morning, Tessa and I started my birthday at the Korean spa to soak in the tubs and steam in the saunas and relax in all the cool rooms (including charcoal; salt; yellow clay; jade; and our favorite, the snow room). Then we picked up some take n' bake pizzas and went home to prepare for my Whirlyball party. I actually did this for my 26th birthday and it was such a hit that I organized it again. Like my 26th, my birthday once again fell on a Saturday, and I called it 31-going-on-13 (totally forgetting I'd called it 26-going-on-13 before).

Action shot

Whirlyball is absurdly expensive but it's probably cheaper than having people meet me at a bar and buy food and drinks, and definitely more fun. Here's a short video - it looks like we're going in slow motion but it doesn't feel quite this slow when you're playing (though some cars were definitely faster than others).

There were 13 of us so we all got a lot of court time. I played on winning and losing teams, and my own play started strong and gradually weakened until by the end I was just tooling around the court in reverse and ramming into people for the fun of it. Days later I'm still sporting several bruises.

After that we headed to my parents' house which is nearby. They were out of town but we didn't exactly throw a rager. The older we get the less we drink! All my siblings were there which was really fun, and Anne made the most delicious cheesecake I've ever had. That is not an exaggeration.

Archer siblings

Incredible mini cheesecakes! The lens
is smudged from something sugary,
apparently.

After pizza and dessert we played some games, and when the crowd thinned I introduced my new favorite party game which is like telephone and pictionary mashed together. I have never not been sore from laughter while playing this game.

Playing Racko on the floor

We played Whirlyball in the afternoon and my party was over at 10, which was perfect timing. Tessa cleaned the house, then we watched some TV and went to bed. I had leftover pizza for breakfast the next day, washed down by cheesecake. Last night I took my mom to the symphony for her Christmas and birthday presents and we had a really nice time carrying on this tradition. And tonight (Friday Jan 11) we'll celebrate my birthday and my mom's birthday (which is tomorrow) with family pictures at my brother's studio followed by a nice dinner out. I feel really lucky to have gotten so much quality family time in on this trip.

So far 31 feels pretty good.

Home for the holidays

Christmas and New Year's have come and gone. Here's what I did!

Before I left for Seattle I teamed up with Sara to make some homemade presents. We made salt and sugar scrubs with essential oils, three kinds of finishing sea salts (Meyer lemon, tomato, and herbes de provence), and I made a big batch of persimmon marmalade using persimmons and Meyer lemons from the trees in my backyard. This was my first real exposure to persimmons and it turns out they don't taste like much on their own; they're more a blank slate for other flavors, and citrus is a perfect match.

Body scrub assembly

Final products - body scrub, salts,
and marmalade underneath.

Considering the Maya themselves said the world wasn't going to end I wasn't particularly concerned, but Sara, Ian, Carson and I decided to have a little "in case of zombies" dinner anyway. Instead of doing it on winter solstice on Friday (the day the world was to end), we celebrated on Thursday in case the end came at midnight. Carson made some incredible meatballs and I whipped up a red sauce and we washed it all down with red wine and fancy brandy that Ian opened for the occasion. 

Good to the last drop

Carson makes a mean meatball

Sara, Ian and I made a very last-minute decision to go to Fort Bragg for an ugly sweater/white elephant party on Friday night thrown by the neighboring houses where Whitney and Melissa live. We didn't get out of Ukiah until about 6 and in the pouring rain it took us an hour and a half to get there, but the party was just getting started. I couldn't find an ugly sweater at such late notice but I did find some horrible pajama pants at the Grocery Outlet for $7. I also wore my fur hat and really old snow boots, and probably won for ugliest look. Here's a partial group shot (I'm on the far left). 

The white elephant was pretty funny. Sara brought this popcorn-filled Elvis guitar which becomes a piggy bank once the popcorn is gone (a BigLots find, one of my favorite places in Ukiah), and it was a major hit. Poor Joe had about four gifts stolen!

We drove back that same night, also in the pouring rain, and although it was extravagant to drive three hours for a party it was worth it.

Seattle!

The next day Carson drove me an hour south to Santa Rosa for my flight to Seattle. I love that airport - it's teeny tiny! That very night was Adam's annual Ho Ho Hodown so I threw on a dress and headed to SoDo to sit on Santa's lap. Here I am with Morgan and Nathan:

I'm so short...

Jacob made this awesome pine cone
cheese ball, filled with bacon and
topped with smoked almonds.

My second white elephant in two nights!

Jacob got my gift, which were sock
slippers with stuffed frogs on the front.
I bought two pair for the two parties.

That night I headed up to my parents' house to settle in for Christmas. The next day I met Robyn for an early breakfast before she drove back to Portland, and the rest of the day my mom and I ran errands and wrapped all the presents I had shipped to their house. I'm a notoriously bad wrapper and she more or less took over the job because it pains her to watch me.

Carson started driving that day and arrived the next morning, which was Christmas Eve. I've never brought someone home for Christmas so this was a pretty big deal, and he handled it beautifully. Of course my family is awesome and incredibly welcoming, so I had nothing to worry about.

The next day was Christmas, the biggest day of the year at the Archer household. Us kids aren't allowed in the family room while my parents prepare it, so we gather upstairs in the living room, drink coffee, and wait (more and more patiently as the years go on). Then we get summoned downstairs, empty the contents of our stockings, and start the glorious process of unwrapping the embarrassing number of gifts under the tree. Everyone got Carson something (did I mention how awesome my family is?) and my mom and I got him a stocking, so he was right in there with us.

Christmas with my man and my custom
ribbon-in-hair that I do every year.

The rest of the day we laze around, eat a fattening breakfast, watch movies, play with our new gifts, drink hot buttered rum, take naps, play games... I don't think I've ever gotten dressed on Christmas day. So lovely.

The next day my brother Eric took Carson to the shooting range (part of his Christmas gift). They bonded over bullets while I tried to get some work done. Once they were done I took Carson on a tour of my childhood, past old places where I worked, past all three of my schools, and into Edmonds where we watched the ferries and ate clam chowder at Anthony's Fish Cafe, a favorite from my high school days. Then we went bowling at Robin Hood Lanes, which is sadly closing. I didn't do too terribly considering I hadn't bowled in years, but Carson destroyed me - he even got a turkey (three strikes in a row). 

He even bowls well - so annoying!

The next day Carson, my mom and I went to the outlets in North Bend to a ski shop where Anne got me my snowveralls (aka bibs) last year. Carson needed snow pants and I needed new boots, a ski jacket, and goggles, because we get to go to Aspen in February! More on that later. I would recommend Mt. Si Ski and Skate to anyone! They are so helpful and have consignment as well as new; I got a great jacket for $90 and what looked like brand new North Face boots that fit like a glove for $70.

In the ski shop, looking fly.

After that we went to the nearby Snoqualmie Falls which were roaring. We didn't stay too long since the combination of rain and spray were soaking us through.

The Archer women in front of the falls.

That was the end of our tenure at the Archer household, and we headed down to Capitol hill to house sit for my friend Shawna and her cat. The cat wasn't too pleased to see us and kept us up most of the night meowing, but she did calm down after that.

The next day was sunny and crisp, so we walked downtown to Pike Place market. Carson had never been to Seattle before so I felt like he needed the full tourist experience. He ate a humbow, we got mini donuts, and we even bought a salmon from the fish throwers to take to dinner that night.

Carson and the Seattle waterfront

We were invited to dinner at KMJ's house, and K made the most amazing squash soup, roasted Brussels sprouts, baked salmon (courtesy of the fish throwers), and poached pears for dessert. Then M made a fire outside and we all cozied up around it.

K cooks up a storm for us

The  next day (Saturday December 29 if you've lost track), Carson, Amber and I went snowshoeing off of highway 2. Our destination? Scenic hot springs. It took us about an hour and a half to make the often vertical climb, but once we got there it was totally worth it - we had the hot springs all to ourselves, all day! I packed us a picnic of rosemary bread, cheese, salami, sliced veggies, and homemade tzaziki sauce. We soaked and ate and drank mate and beer, gawked at the weasel that boldly worked its way closer and closer until it popped up right next to us, had some very pleasant conversation, and couldn't believe it when it was already time to hike back down. We had a glimpse of blue sky but after that it fogged over, so it seemed darker than it was and we got out of dodge at 2:45 to avoid getting stuck snowshoeing in the dark. 

The hot spring tubs

Amber and Carson on the way back down.

Amber hiking down a creek bed with
snow walls on each side.

The next day was Sunday - football day! We took a bus down to Pioneer Square since it was a home game, and Carson was blown away by how loud the Seahawks stadium was. Luckily we won (and have since won our first playoff game!) so everyone was in a good mood. We ate gyros at my favorite spot, Main Street Gyros, then popped into J&M Cafe, the New Orleans, and Fuel before finally finding a spot at the bar of McCoy's firehouse. At halftime we relocated to Swannie's, so he definitely got a sampling of Pioneer Square bars.

Carson with the famous firefighters.

At the Waterfall park (birthplace of
the USPS)

On New Year's Eve we had pho with Casey and then didn't do much of anything. We were both under the weather, particularly Carson, so we laid around Shawna's apartment, took a quick walk to the grocery store, and made a delicious swimming rama for dinner (Carson makes a mean peanut sauce). Amber came over for dinner but left before midnight because she had to work early. Shawna's place has a view of the Space Needle so we watched the show, Carson went downstairs for a cream cheese sausage outside Chop Suey, and then passed out. As someone who doesn't really care about NYE, it was a perfectly fine way to spend the holiday.

The Space Needle looked closer than
this picture shows; it  was actually an
incredible view and a really fun show.

The next day was beautiful (but COLD, brr) so we drove through Fremont on our way to the Ballard locks. I think this was Carson's favorite thing in Seattle.

The next day (January 2), Carson left town, my parents left town, and Shawna came home, so I was at the airport twice and ended the day on the couch with my parents' dog. 

I'm in Seattle until this Saturday January 12 so I actually have even MORE home stories to relay, including my birthday. More soon!

Mexico! Part II

When last I left you we were in Sayulita and I was recovering from food poisoning.

Friday, December 7 – Melaque

Our last morning in Sayulita. We had breakfast at Rollie’s again, and by “we” I mean “Carson.” As is always the case with this bastard bacteria, I had a good day followed by a bad day. As someone who lives to eat, possibly the worst sensation in the world for me is being both starving and nauseous. I watched him eat with envy. I don’t think I was particularly pleasant company.

From there we headed to Melaque, a sleepy beach town about 3.5 hours south at the edge of the state of Jalisco. Carson enjoyed learning to surf but his ribs were bruised and we were both tired of the crowded, overly touristy vibe, so we were both ready to get out of dodge and didn't even mind sitting in the car for a few hours.

During the ride, about every 30 minutes I would eat five or six almonds and cashews, feeling totally stuffed after each handful. If you know me you know the hilarity of that scenario, considering I generally manage to out-eat everyone else. Other than having to drive through the madness that is Puerto Vallarta yet again, including a very pot-holey section of highway 200 that was a little like a mine field (which we drove about a dozen times), the ride was uneventful. Once in Melaque we parked and wandered around. All the oceanfront hotels were essentially the same so we picked one with a seaside balcony and the customary hard beds. 

Carson using the internet at our Melaque hotel,
Puesta del Sol. Everywhere we went had internet.

View from our Melaque balcony. This place was cool
because the kitchen was actually outside on the
balcony (sadly no picture).

It was only 5:00 but we hadn’t eaten lunch, so we headed to a pizza place I’d read about for an early dinner. It was distractingly salty, but I did manage to take down two whole pieces. Then we hit the plaza, just in time for the Guadalupe procession complete with marching band and fireworks.

December 8 – Barra de Navidad

Melaque is in the same cove as its more famous neighbor, Barra de Navidad. It’s only about a mile away so after a breakfast of leftover pizza we walked there on the sloping beach, admiring skinboarders and stopping for a swim along the way (and just stopping a lot in general since I was still so easily winded - I was pathetic and Carson was patient). The cove has great big waves that crash with a thunderous boom against the shore – I love that sound!

Taking a break

We walked the pier at Barra where we found this beautiful statue. I'm totally obsessed with it!

Then we were roped into a private boat tour of the bay, including a populated canal and an expensive hotel with disgustingly large yachts anchored in front.

Barra de Navidad canal

From there he asked if we would like to see “just a little bit of the ocean” and I said sure, thinking he’d just pop out and back and include it in the price of the tour. No such thing – he took us on the full “peninsula” tour, trying to talk us into a full-day fishing and snorkeling expedition the next day all the while, and then charged us for both the bay and ocean tours when we declined the fishing trip. It was boring and it was a swindle at $60, but… oh well. I didn’t really feel like arguing about it as I could tell he was desperate for some business (tourism not being what it once was).

On our "peninsula" tour (note the Gatorade - still not
fully recovered at this point).

We had a nice lunch at a little French bakery – croissants and the first post-sick coffee for me, ham panini for Carson – and then took a cab the short distance back to Melaque. We had a pretty uninspired plate of street tacos for dinner and thought we missed the procession that night, though we found out later it was held in a neighboring town (apparently if the towns are small enough they take turns). What we didn’t miss, however, was the most incredible thing I ate the entire trip (tied with tacos al pastor): The BEST CHURROS OF MY LIFE. I consider myself a churro connoisseur, so I do not say this lightly. I was cursing my shrunken stomach for only being able to take down two of the five pieces we got for ONE DOLLAR, but I savored every bite. My mouth is watering right now.

Mmmm.... churros....

December 9 – Sunday football

After breakfast at the local market and a morning walk on the beach, I talked Carson into a lazy day of watching football and playing rummy in our hotel room. We went out for lunch at El Froy’s on the beach where I ate some decent ribs (once I scraped the gallon of gross BBQ sauce off them).

Carson has a beer at El Froy's

Then we swam and lounged for awhile on the beach before going back to our hotel to swim and lounge by the pool. We saw some fruit vendors walking by and beckoned to them, buying a mango and a pineapple filled with watermelon and papaya, all for about $5. We had a lot of fun horsing around in the pool and I suspect the old people staying there (why were we constantly surrounded by old people??) were divided as to whether we were sweet or obnoxious.

Dinner was, again, uninspired. The whole trip I was disappointed by the food in general (not that food poisoning made anything more appetizing, but usually I eat really great food in Mexico). Luckily the churro vendor was out again and I was able to reach sugar nirvana for the second night in a row. More football and rummy before going to bed. I thanked Carson for indulging my sports request and in his constant, good-natured way, he just shrugged and said “sure.”

Monday, December 10 – Snakes and crocodiles and an unexpected change in plans

We woke up early and headed south again, this time to Cuyutlan in the state of Colima. We stopped for breakfast in Manzanillo, one of Mexico’s biggest ports and also a big tourist spot which I almost chose to fly into instead of PV. An hour was enough to see that we weren’t missing much, though I did have a delicious latte. Further down the road we stopped for a coconut, the second of the trip, and while it tasted just like the coconut water I love to drink, Carson was disappointed both times.

Machete-ing coconuts in style (she had on heels).

It wasn’t long before we were in Cuyutlan, specifically at the sanctuary that inspired this destination. Called “el tortugario” (the turtle-arium), it was originally designed to help preserve the 13 species of ocean turtle that come to Mexico. It has since evolved to include crocodiles and iguanas under its protective wing.

A baby crocodile in captivity (they are
eventually released into the mangroves).

After checking out the turtles and crocs that were housed in a variety of pools, we took a boat tour through the Palo Verde mangroves. This was the highlight of the whole trip for me.

Soooo happy right now

It was just the two of us, and even though it was a private tour it only cost 120 pesos (I gave him 200 – best $15 I spent). The mangroves are fiercely protected by the locals and our guide was both knowledgeable and passionate without being preachy. He also had an incredible eye for crocodile heads in the water, birds in the branches, and even camouflaged snakes. After passing by at a good speed, he suddenly reversed and slowly drew up next to a mangrove with a sleeping viper curled up in it. A moment later we came upon this baby alligator taking a nap on the lily pads:

So tiny! Hard to imagine it ripping you apart.

We also saw tons of birds: blue, green, and white herons, cormorans, falcons, pelicans, and lots more I can’t name.

A falcon looking regal.

Then we went into the mangrove tunnel, which was created by nature but expanded by man with federal permission so they could take boats through.

About to enter the tunnel

Caution: low branches and possible snakes!

He warned us to watch out for vipers dropping into the boat, but assured us they don’t bite – they squeeze you to death instead (awesome). He also had something special to show us: a boa sleeping off a meal. It was about 5 feet long, according to our guide, and would stay there for 2-3 days until it was done digesting. Awesome!

Digesting boa (this is about half of him)

Mind the hanging roots!

After we got off the boat Carson took this picture of me on the walkway. He took a lot of pictures of my back; I am a fast walker and I guess I left him behind a lot!

All we had left to see were the iguanas, and this big guy was proudly situated at the top of the food pedestal. I guess they're illegal to hunt and semi-endangered, making me feel guilty about having eaten iguana tamales on a past trip (whoops).

After that we headed into Cuyutlan, a truly teeny tiny beach town. I imagine on the weekends it's probably a bit more hopping, but on a Monday it was the definition of dead.

Empty main drag

Empty beach boardwalk

We wandered to the three nearby hotels, one of which was under construction but open (no thanks), one of which was closed, and the other of which was pretty cheap for a pretty gross little room, which we took. Then we walked to the only open food stall and had a torta before hitting the beach. We swam for a bit but the waves were big and the undertow strong, so we walked down the abandoned beach instead.

Cuyutlan is the only beach I'd seen with kiddie pools;
anyone else seen this on a beach anywhere else?

We stopped a ways down, buried my legs in the sand, let the tide wash them off, and then walked back. By then it was only about 4:30 and we were bored. Hanging in our room was not an option, and there was nothing else to do... so we took a quick shower under the weak trickle (it probably would have been better water pressure if we turned the bathroom sink on and submerged various parts of our bodies), packed our bags back into the car, dropped our room key on the counter without saying anything to the staff, and hightailed it back north on the 100!

The best part of our hotel was the
door to the bathroom.

We figured we'd drive until we didn't feel like it, stop for the night somewhere, and finish the drive back to Puerto Vallarta the next day. We accidentally got on the toll road which we decided was okay until we discovered it was $10 for only 30 minutes' worth of road! There was no turning back so we paid it, but we were shocked at the price.

We ended up making the entire five-hour drive in one go, pulling up to a beachfront hotel I'd previously vetted about 20 minutes south of PV at 10 pm. The night clerk was surprised to see us but gladly let us into a room. We were both very happy to not be sleeping in our cheap, dingy Cuyutlan room, and that our long return drive was already behind us.

Tuesday, Dec 11 - Tequila, Mismaloya, and El Kliff

We woke up and the first thing I did - the first thing I did every single morning, in fact - was scan the ocean for dolphins or whales. They were evasive buggers. Our hotel room at the Mar Sereno had large balcony with a gorgeous view. The room itself was inexplicably large, and the entire hotel was clearly a sight to behold in its glory days (possibly the 1970s), but has since fallen into a state of disrepair.

Ginormous, mostly empty room

Beautiful balcony

There were few guests and fewer employees, and it was rather like staying in an abandoned mansion. It was about six stories tall, with the top of the building at street level and the bottom a sheer drop or some steep stone stairs down to the rocky ocean.

Mar Sereno from the beach

Someone a long time ago built a little swimming hole where the water comes in at high tide, and at low tide you could walk around it and look at the crabs and little fish stuck in the pools. Everything was overgrown and rusted or eroded away, and I felt like I was in the secret garden, ocean edition.

Carson in pursuit of marine life

The hotel changed hands a few years ago, and I suspect someone who didn't know much about hotels (and the maintenance inherent in oceanfront property) bought it without realizing what it would take to restore. We were glad for the emptiness, though; it was a far cry from our fancy resort.

We needed gas and I was craving roasted chicken, so we drove into PV to accomplish those two goals. Then we went to a tequila distillery near our hotel where the tastings were free and self-serve; their trick was to get you drunk so you bought more, and from the looks of the people there, it was very effective. The guy who came to help us was already beyond tipsy at 1 pm, often overstepping the boundaries of appropriate with dirty jokes and even a flash of the bag of weed he had in his pocket when we told him we were from Northern California. Luckily his drunkenness worked in our favor as he offered us a steal on a sampler of flavored tequilas (the girl ringing us up called him "Santa Claus," not a little annoyed). I usually hate tequila but this stuff was really good; it's entirely made and sold on premise, all in small batches and none of it exported. It was expensive but we felt like we'd gotten our money's worth.

Carson models a fancy bottle while our salesperson
gives us the hard sell.

From there we drove to nearby Mismaloya beach and lounged next to the ocean, drinking fancy drinks, playing cards, saying no to the many vendors, and trying to ignore the many American tourists surrounding us.

The Mismaloya river terminates there so the water was much colder to swim in than usual, but we still had a nice final dip before heading back to the hotel to dress for dinner.

I thought it would be nice if we had a fancy meal on our last night. We tried to go to Chico's Paradise which looked super cool, but it was only open for lunch, so instead we ended up at Le Kliff, one of the most expensive restaurants in the greater PV area which happened to be right next to our hotel. The first thing we noticed was a romantic table for two set up beneath the restaurant; the host told us someone was going to propose there that night, but they showed up after dark and missed the view!

Wedding central

We were relatively early - a little before 6 - and we were seated at a great table right on the edge of the open-air patio overlooking the ocean. One other party was already there, and soon a group of 40ish women were seated right next to us. It soon became clear these ladies were here to celebrate the end of a meaningful vacation with gusto.

The service was clumsy and forced; rather than creating their own style, they were clearly trying to emulate the uber fine dining establishments in the U.S., with little success. Our waiter was unimpressive. Rather than offering us menus, he asked what we were drinking and pushed the 'special seafood platter.' I said what, you don't have menus? He begrudgingly supplied a wine list and food menu, and we got a bottle of red that I used to drink in Chile, calamari to start, and steaks for the main course. The calamari was salty and tough and the steaks didn't fare much better, with tough meat and globs of congealed cheese between the slices of semi-raw potato gratin, but neither dish lacked the fussy detail people seem to associate with expensive meals.

Not great

Our waiter insisted on addressing every communication to Carson, even though I was always the one to respond to him. Even when he brought the bill and I personally handed him my credit card, he still put it down in front of Carson. I wanted to strangle him, especially when he asked how much tip we wanted to include. "None," I said. "We'll leave cash." And we did, but not as much as he expected I'm sure. So all in all, the food and the service were a bust. But the night was worth its $100+ price tag.

First... there were the neighbors. A group of coati (cousins of the raccoon) live nearby, and I'm sure no better meal can be found than in an open air restaurant filled with tourists. I noticed them first and cautioned Carson not to feed them since they are notoriously aggressive, at least in Argentina. Then a few minutes later came a scream. Not a little one; a full-blown "OMG" scream, from the older woman at the first table. She had just noticed our dining companions. The waiters lazily shooed them away, but it wasn't long before the same terrified scream was heard. The poor lady was so terrified she actually went to wait in the car while her dining companions hurriedly finished their entrees and her husband spoke harshly to the manager, who looked sympathetic but indicated their surroundings and said, "the restaurant is open and they live in the jungle; there's not much we can do."

Coati invader - it was hard to get a good
picture of them but they have looong tails.

Then there was the group who came next, a three-generation family of 12 led by a bitchy matriarch who, upon seeing Carson and I occupying a table for four at a superior table, asked why we couldn't be moved so they could enjoy our seats instead. I only know this because I watched it go down; to their credit, the wait staff did not indulge her request. After they were seated next to us, they proceeded to do those tourist things I hate the most: mock the menu, the restaurant, and in essence the culture; ask for complicated things in rapid-fire English, like a "sample of wine tastes;" and talk loudly as if they were the only ones present. Luckily I was half a bottle of wine in by then so I was more amused than annoyed. Carson joked about saying something to the woman on our way out, like "you can have our seats now."

Then there was our favorite group - the 40ish ladies. They were there to have a memorable night, including three courses each, tearful toasts, dozens of flash-happy photos, and best of all... homemade music. One of them brought her guitar, and their elder companion went to each table and asked if we wouldn't mind listening to "one song from our friend who is a wonderful musician." What were we going to say, no? They finally got the manager to turn down the (admittedly awful smooth jazz) music, and then she proceeded to play and sing a song from their table. But that wasn't all, my friends! She then got up and walked to each table, playing private concerts for all of us lucky diners. We were last on her rounds and had actually just paid our bill, but we didn't quite escape.

She was a pleasant woman and had a sweet enough voice, but she didn't have a trained voice and she didn't play the guitar particularly well; in short, not the kind of person you'd expect to have the balls to treat a restaurant like a house party. We were very polite, however, and did not laugh about any of this until we were safely back in our room. We both agreed the night was worth it, but that the next time we dropped a bill on a meal it would be on killer food and hopefully less tacky dining companions.

Wednesday, December 12 - Adios, Mexico

I woke up and made a last hopeful scan of the waters for marine life, only to be disappointed yet again. I wanted to go to one last beach (our flight wasn't until 5), but Carson didn't feel like getting wet and sandy before flying, so instead we packed and headed into PV to see what the final day of the Guadalupe festival looked like. First, traffic was crazy. We finally got through town around 11:00, parked on the other side of everything, and walked back. There were THOUSANDS of people cramming the streets, waiting to get into the Church of Guadalupe. Apparently this would go on all day and all night.

This doesn't even capture the madness

We found what we thought was our original al pastor vendor and had a delicious plate of tacos while watching the hordes slowly pass by.

Then we headed to the Malecon to get a few cheesy souvenirs and an ice cream. We also admired the many performers, including living statues dressed to the nines, a pair of sand-covered chess players, and sandcastle builders. What drives me crazy is American tourists snapping pictures of them like crazy but not giving them a single peso. Tourists of the world, take note! If you take a picture, you should really pay for it.

I loved this wishing well and threw several peso into it:

With nothing much left to do, we headed to the rental car agency, turned in our trusty Scala, and had nearly three hours to kill before our flight. We passed them in a generic airport restaurant, eating bar food and playing many rounds of rummy.

Finally it was time to board and we ended up with a row of three to ourselves. I hogged the computer writing this blog and before I knew it we were in San Francisco. Customs wasn't too bad, our bags came right away, and we walked out right as our shuttle was pulling up - I love perfect timing! We were both pretty hungry so once we got the car I found a nearby Vietnamese restaurant (something you can't get in Ukiah) and introduced Carson to the wonderful world of pho. It was the third best thing I ate on my entire vacation.

We made it to Ukiah at about midnight, dragged our bags in through the rain, and promptly passed out.

And that was our successful Mexico vacation!